Memories Of Sun And Ice
by Emeryuu
Summary: It's not a fairytale. But not a tragedy either. If you want to describe it, you can say that it's a story about friendship, brotherhood, sacrafice, right and wrong. But the most important is, that it's about hope.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

Let me tell you a story…

A story about smile warm like a sun and eyes cold like an ice. A story about two boys who were brothers in everything but blood. About two boys without names but with numbers instead. About girl with white hair and song on her lips. About detective who tried to understand, not only stop criminals. About lonely girl who wanted to be saved from her empty life. About riddles, secrets and terrorists.

Let me tell you how one moment, one meeting, one question and one answer can change whole life.

I know we are strangers. I'm not one of you. But I may be an acquaintance. Acquaintances can share a story.

They just had one wish: to be remembered. They asked only for that. I'm just a single person and I'll die someday. But I won't let them be forgotten.

So please, listen. My name is Lisa Mishima and it started one hot summer day…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Again short chapter, but I'm working on it. I hope you'll like my story. I don't know when next part will be posted, it may take me some time to write it but I think ot won't be longer thant three-four weeks. University is to blame...

Special thanks to **Mori07 **and **TheRoseShadow21** for follownig this story, adding it to favourites and a review! I'm really happy yoy've enjoyed my work. :)

Disclaimer (I forgot in last chapter): "Zaknyou no Terror" isn't mine. It belong to its creators (if it were mine, Sphinx boys would live long and happy lives).

**CHAPTER 2**

Have you ever experienced being strangled? Feeling that your lung can't catch breath. Something is blocking air and it can't fill them up. Maybe you are held by your throat. Or maybe it is just you being unable to breath.

Vision is getting blur, dark spots dancing in front of your eyes. You feel like your chest is set on fire.

You try to escape. You move your hands franticly, looking for something, anything to hold onto. You are fighting with all you've got because you want to live, to survive. To be free again.

Big part of my teenage days was like that. Living while being constantly choked was normal. Only difference was that I hadn't tried to escape. I just accepted everything without uttering a word. Now, that I'm remembering those times, I think that "accepting" isn't right. "Bearing" would be more accurate. Pain and loneliness became part of me for so long they made me numb. I was no longer reacting.

Absent father, screaming and crying mother, bullying classmates, disappointed teachers – that was everything I knew. Waking up, going to school alone, coming back alone, doing homework, eating with mother when she was able to leave her bedroom or alone when she wasn't, no going out on weekends – that was everything my life was composed of.

It was destroying me, I knew it. But I couldn't find a strength to do anything. I thought to myself "someone, help me" and "someone, save me". Those were just empty wishes – I did nothing to make them come true. Pathetic, isn't it?

Father had left us few months before everything happened. I don't know way he divorced with mum and she refused to tell me. I guess he had a mistress. I have no idea what he's doing even now. He hasn't tried to contact me. Even when my name has been all over the media he didn't tried. Probably he has new life, with new family and wants to forget about former wife and failure of a daughter. That's what I was back then.

After father had left mother broke down. She loved him so much and yet he didn't want to share life with her. She feared I'll left her too and tried to stop me. I had to be under the phone and come back home early. She was angry when she didn't know where I am. I tried to understand that she loves me, she's just scared and wound on her heart need time to heal. But nothing had changed. It only became worse. She became paranoid about many things.

Scholl wasn't any better. I always was that shy, silent child who was easy to pick on. I didn't know how to fight back so I was bullied. No one tried to be friends with me and I didn't know what should I do to make friends. Talking with strangers made me nervous and soon I stopped trying. Why should I if no one cared?

That day, at the pool, something important happen. At that time I wasn't aware of that but when I saw that warm, bright smile which reminded me of the sun, I felt like I took my first breath after long time. And those eyes just like ice – it was like being wake up with cold water.

I stood in front of the pool, my classmates tried to make me jump. I don't even remember what happen to lead to that situation. I was scared, I can't swim but I couldn't speak at that moment. I just prayed for everything to end quickly.

But they hadn't given up. They were laughing, cold and ugly. They were pushing me towards the edge. And just when I lost all hope he appeared. Twelve… No, at that time he was Hisami-kun for me… He jumped out of nowhere and stopped them. I was so confused. He didn't know me, he didn't have reason to help me. So why? I didn't try to ask, I just run away too scared, too shocked to think about it.

I didn't know what should I do. And he didn't try to talk to me after. He just smiled bright blinding smile. And his companion observed from a distance with cold calculating gaze. I repeat myself, but those two things are still vivid in my memories. And those are first things that come to my mind when someone asks me about them. And I think that characterizations are accurate – I can't find better word to describe them. Just with one glance, one sentence you ken get to know them. It's not that simple of course, but you can catch a glimpse of what they was. Or, for me, what they are.

Our first meeting was strange and embarrassing. They didn't know my name and yet they rescued me. It started simply, at school, before classes. With two boys transferring to my school. Ended in research facility with police and special forces from U.S. chasing after us. When I saw my savior standing in front of my class introducing himself, with water dripping from his clothes I had no idea it would change my whole life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **ZnT is not mine (if it was, Spinx boys would survive…).

**CHAPTER 3**

Someone could say that after being bullied and neglected by classmates for so long I should learn my lesson. I should stop looking for a place to belong and just live my life and bear with it.

I should stop trusting.

It's easy only theoretically, but reality isn't that simple. You can't run away from people and live normally at the same time. You can't avoid seeing them, talking with them or even working with them. Even if you wish for them to disappear, like I did, they won't. Life is brutal, it doesn't respect anyone's wishes.

Despite feeling out of place this whole time I yearned for some, even tiny, space for me to just be in, to be able to exist there. But no one granted me that. So what I did? I run to a place where I could hide and pretend that world behind those walls isn't real. It doesn't change anything but it gives you an illusion of safety. No happiness, never happiness.

When I met Hisami-kun at the staircase in government's building I didn't know what to think. Questions were running fast through my mind. What he was doing? Why didn't he escape with the rest? What should I do? What is going on?

There was no sign of a smile that enchanted me during our first meeting. There was other, scary, paralyzing smirk on his lips. So cruel and dark. And eyes. Eyes so full of promises of pain if I dare to defy him. Challenging me to run away, but holding me frozen in spot at the same time.

Second later he changed his face and it was like it had been just my imagination. He went back to being nice and cheerful classmate. He tossed me a mascot saying it'll keep me safe. It looked like what it was – just a toy.

But why was I so afraid of touching it?

Phone call from Arata-kun was a surprise. It should make me wonder how he obtained my number in first place. But it wasn't right time to ask.

When I learned the true about them, it wasn't surprising anymore. Many other puzzles fitted in right place then. But at the beginning I was blind. So blind and reckless, not knowing what's going on around me. How big the wages are and how much Twelve and Nine bet.

Arata-kun asked me one question: "Do you want to live?"

Any other time I would answer that no, I don't care. This world doesn't have a sense. It's so empty, so wrong. Everything, people, places should just disappear.

But I couldn't say it. Standing there in falling building in midst of explosions and police sirens outside. Hearing, feeling how fast my heart is beating. I could think only about how I don't want to die yet.

I'm not ready yet, I thought.

I'm scared. It's too much. I want everything to end.

But dying it's even more scary. There's no return if you die.

Is it painful? Is it fast or slow? Do you feel dying? Or maybe it become so fast you have no idea what happened. One moment you exist – and next one you don't.

I decided to live because of fear. It was sad, a girl too scared to live, to leave her shell but also to scared to end it and die. I changed a lot since that time although remembering those moments make bow my head in shame.

My jump from destroyed high-rise is something I'll remember for my whole life. I can't recall clearly how I did it. In my memory there's just one thing: a boy, short and skinny with brown hair and encouraging smile. He was standing in front of a motorbike with his arms open to catch me.

Hisami-kun was waiting for me.

I didn't know what to expect next. They rescued me but it didn't change the fact that they were the ones who set bombs in first place. I was still afraid. The look Hisami-kun gave me at the staircase was hunting me even when I was jumping into his arms.

Talk with Arata-kun was quick. I couldn't utter a single word, he was the only one talking. He said that now I'm an accomplice, that I've became a part of whatever they were doing. That I'm not allowed to talk to police.

The true is, I didn't even want to. Why? Because of that one word: accomplice. Hearing it gave me that warm, foreboding feeling. It was just like I found a place for me. And that place was with them.

Listening to that monotone voice, standing under this calculating gaze made me calm. And surprisingly happy – finally someone wasn't tossing me aside. Even if it was forced, they didn't give up on me and left.

Maybe, I thought then, maybe this is what I was waiting for. I decided to trust. I wanted to trust.

But memory of that cruel face didn't let me until much later when I truly understood what those two strange boys were and were their path was leading them.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Being accomplice doesn't mean caring. That's the truth Hisami-kun thought me soon after their first bombing. I had no idea how he was able to find me, but he did and talked to me like we were friends.

It was so confusing. He had such a warm smile and was so kind. It was hard to believe it was the same person that looked at me with malice few days before. He put bombs in government building one day and made fun of me in the café next. I couldn't understand what made him act like that. And I found myself wanting to know the reasons.

Hisami-kun had other plans. A the end he told me that being accomplice didn't mean anything. I shouldn't do anything stupid. Because in that case, he wouldn't hesitate to kill me.

He left and I went back to my own life. My life consisting shoes drifting on the water and cruel laugh echoing in school corridors. Those are two things I remember from high school the best.

I couldn't even bring myself to care. At that point – when this story was happening – I found that something normal. It was just an everyday thing, just a part of how Lisa Mishima was treated.

There was no reason to bring this to teachers. Or to mum. Never to her. She would not help, if anything, she would only make situation worse with her protectiveness… No, I shouldn't call it that – it was obsession.

"Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa," she said.

"_Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa."_

Over and over again.

"_Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa. Lisa." _

I was sick from hearing my name said in that voice. Voice full of reproach, sadness, desperation and anger. Like it wasn't enough I _knew_ I'm broken. Like she had to remind me I wasn't good enough.

Not good enough daughter. Not good enough student. Not good enough to be anyone's friend.

I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to tell her that I know I was made wrong way and I'm sorry about that. I wanted to explain I never wanted to disappoint her. That I'm not happy with my, her, our lives too.

I miss him too, I thought when I saw her like that. He didn't leave you only. He abandoned me too. And it's hard, so stop behaving like you are the only one hurt. I want someone to save me, take me from this world.

But I couldn't make myself open my mouth. Words just wouldn't come out, I was a coward after all.

My thoughts went to Hisami-kun. Maybe they would help me. They wouldn't understand, I didn't understand myself, but they rescued me once. So I hoped. I hoped and tried calling, but he didn't pick up. I stopped trying.

I did the only thing cowards are good at – I run away.

I packed a bag with my clothes, took money and my phone. And left. She almost caught me when she heard door opening in the middle of the night, but I was faster. While I was leaving my home, my mother behind I tried not to think how much I was similar to my father.

I wasn't thinking clearly. I wanted to get away from her and her accusatory words. I spent first night on the streets. I found a quiet place on the back of some building and fell asleep on the staircase. It was anything but comfortable and I woke up confused and cold. I was hungry. I had nowhere to go and mum wouldn't stop calling. And I wasn't brave enough to speak to her.

But that didn't matter, she wouldn't listen. She never listened even if I decided to speak. It was always her feelings, her worries what was the most important. _You understand, Lisa, don't you?_

In the morning, when I was making my way through the streets, there was a broadcast. It was a report about police finding a bomb in the neighborhood of some shrine. It was the answer for Sphinx's riddle. I immediately thought about Hisami-kun and Arata-kun. It was their doing.

Are they safe? Didn't they succeed this time? I was asking myself and not realizing that I shouldn't care. They didn't and I had no reason to do it too.

I wasted time walking aimlessly around the city. I ate something at one place, sat on the bench for some time at another. I feared the night, police could catch me and bring me home. That would be the end for me, I tried not to think what would my mother do if I showed myself at the door with policemen on each side. She would probably lock me in my room for the rest of my life. I couldn't let that happen.

Then, Hisami-kun appeared. It was a surprise, I didn't expect to meet him now, after I escaped. Did he follow me? Or was it a coincidence? It didn't matter.

"You should go home," he said.

"Leave me alone," I replied. And it was like the tam broke. I said some things, angry things. About how cornered I felt, how alone I was.

Of course, I run away again. Now, when I think about it, that was the only thing I did during this story well. Running and following Twelve – I was very good at those two.

I run, because he had no right to tell me to go home. He knew nothing. It wasn't his father who left him for his mistress. It wasn't him living with obsessed mother. It wasn't him being bullied every day.

His childhood was so, so much worse than mine and he understood my feeling perfectly, but I learned that later. Too late, If I was to be honest.

Next thing I knew when I left Hisami-kun was the appearance of policemen. They tried to ask my name and where I was going. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. And then, he showed himself again. Like a true hero, he rode a motorcycle straight toward us. He gestured for me to get on and I did with no hesitation.

We rode into the night with city lights around blurring. There was only road in front of us, lights glowing brightly on the sides, me hugging Hisami-kun tightly. Police car was chasing us, but it was too slow to match Hisami-kun's motorcycle.

"Are you going to destroy it?" I asked the question I wanted to ask since I found out their identities as terrorists.

Hisami-kun didn't hear, so I repeated.

"Are you going to destroy the whole world?" I tried to outshout the engine.

Hisami-kun laughed in answer. Laughed loudly and cheerfully, I could feel his body trembling with it. And I found myself laughing too. I couldn't help myself.

It was amazing, two strange teenagers escaping the police and laughing. For the first time in long time I felt nice.


End file.
